Dreams of cowboys

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Some more iffy lyrics (and revised titles)… 

If you wanna be my lover/You gotta get with my friends
- Spice Girls || Actual title should be “An ode to gang bangs”

Close to me you’re like my mother/Close to me you’re like my father/Close to me you’re like my sister/Close to me you’re like my brother
- K-Ci & Jo Jo || Actual title should be “Wham bam thank you fam”

Step back you’re dancing kinda close/I feel a little poke coming through on you
- Next (also covered by Blue in 2001) || Actual title should be “The dance floor boner song”

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Yep… some strange lessons to learn (or hopefully un-learn) from some of our favorite tunes of yesteryear. 

xxx alyssa
(ps Arielle I’m working on a Halloween mixtape at the moment - I’ll share it when it’s perfected!)

Alyssa, amazing ideas. I am so glad to hear they have been tried and tested. I hate it when people try to be easy going over breakups and act as though life can go on as normal. I think getting as weird as humanly possible and then reflecting on that weirdness makes you realise you’re actually alright and not as crazy as your actions or thoughts and somehow that makes you feel better. Over here, my housemate and I have also been divining relationship lessons from early 2000s pop songs. These are the two that stand out…

1. Give me your heart
2. Make It real 
3. Or else forget about it
- Santana & Rob Thomas 

Crazy
Sexy 
Cool
- TLC

Can you share some more? I miss your mix tapes!

x arielle

I really enjoyed that last post. 
So here are few more expressions of tortured/scorned love to share. Please note, all of these have happened in real life (so they’ve been road tested!)… aaand I also may or may not have already done some of these.. or have had these done by/to someone I know…orrr I may have had this happen to me. So we’re going beyond hypotheticals into full-fledged demented here. 
* If you find yourself on the road a lot, write your ex’s name and number in every toilet stall out of town. Leave a heart-felt message next to it that you can ask your fellow stall-users to pass on. (I’d think a simple rendition of Sting’s I’ll be watching you would say enough) * If you were ever given/took something precious of your ex’s as a keepsake (let’s say a favorite t-shirt or personal diary)… mail pieces of it back to the ex each birthday* Here’s a slight variation of that hair-filled-envelope: Perhaps you had a feature that your ex hated (or liked - depending on the message you’re sending)… Without doing a Van Gough and getting too gory, mail that feature to your ex. Maybe your ex liked your fingernails when they were painted red? (Send dem crimson nail-clippings!) OR (here’s a specific and real example) maybe said ex hated your rat’s tail? Just hack it off and send that. No words necessary. (That’s all I have at the moment!)If all else fails and you feel like your gentle prodding isn’t effective enough, just punch the sodder in the face. Direct and straight to the point. xxx Alyssa

I really enjoyed that last post. 

So here are few more expressions of tortured/scorned love to share.

Please note, all of these have happened in real life (so they’ve been road tested!)…
aaand I also may or may not have already done some of these.. or have had these done by/to someone I know…orrr I may have had this happen to me. So we’re going beyond hypotheticals into full-fledged demented here. 

* If you find yourself on the road a lot, write your ex’s name and number in every toilet stall out of town. Leave a heart-felt message next to it that you can ask your fellow stall-users to pass on. (I’d think a simple rendition of Sting’s I’ll be watching you would say enough) 

* If you were ever given/took something precious of your ex’s as a keepsake (let’s say a favorite t-shirt or personal diary)… mail pieces of it back to the ex each birthday

* Here’s a slight variation of that hair-filled-envelope: Perhaps you had a feature that your ex hated (or liked - depending on the message you’re sending)… Without doing a Van Gough and getting too gory, mail that feature to your ex. Maybe your ex liked your fingernails when they were painted red? (Send dem crimson nail-clippings!) OR (here’s a specific and real example) maybe said ex hated your rat’s tail? Just hack it off and send that. No words necessary. 

(That’s all I have at the moment!)

If all else fails and you feel like your gentle prodding isn’t effective enough, just punch the sodder in the face. Direct and straight to the point. 

xxx Alyssa

A breakup I came out of a little while ago ran me through the mill a bit.
However it got me thinking on what old mate Clare and I used to hypothesise about - the creepiest things you could do to either exact revenge or even simply create a general unease in a person who has broken your heart. 
So. Here is a list of the most disturbing ideas I’ve come up with so far. I think it would make a wonderful book. Enough quasi-philosophising, more artistic revenge I say.
Your thoughts and fresh ideas would, as ever, be greatly appreciated.. 
* Brick through their window with a note ‘thinking of you’ taped to it (see above).
* Tattoo of their face on your arm with #foreveralone written underneath it. The photorealistic portrait should have all teeth drawn in and the pupils of their eyes blackened slightly too much. Take a photo and allow it to circulate widely on the internet.
* Paper mache effigies of past lover at life-size scale positioned outside their place of residence and burned down in the middle of the night. Make sure to knock on their door first so they can see their effigy before it becomes charred. Wear a balaclava if you want your identity kept a secret.
* An anonymous, hand delivered letter filled with a collection of their hairs you’ve found as you clean post-breakup. Or as Clare suggested, maybe first send a photo of the hairs, then you can make demands.
* Chalk crime scene body outlines of your bodies holding hands on the street outside their work, with RIP scrawled under it. If you feel it’s still a little too abstract you may include your names too. Be careful this isn’t interpreted as a death threat though. Let’s keep it PG people.
* Glitter bombing. Always and forever, glitter bombing. That shit just does not go away. A glittering reminder of your love to linger on.
I think I’ll stay anonymous for this sign off as it’s obviously a more than slightly demented post, but I do think it has potential.
Peace and love dreamers x

A breakup I came out of a little while ago ran me through the mill a bit.

However it got me thinking on what old mate Clare and I used to hypothesise about - the creepiest things you could do to either exact revenge or even simply create a general unease in a person who has broken your heart. 

So. Here is a list of the most disturbing ideas I’ve come up with so far. I think it would make a wonderful book. Enough quasi-philosophising, more artistic revenge I say.

Your thoughts and fresh ideas would, as ever, be greatly appreciated.. 

* Brick through their window with a note ‘thinking of you’ taped to it (see above).

* Tattoo of their face on your arm with #foreveralone written underneath it. The photorealistic portrait should have all teeth drawn in and the pupils of their eyes blackened slightly too much. Take a photo and allow it to circulate widely on the internet.

* Paper mache effigies of past lover at life-size scale positioned outside their place of residence and burned down in the middle of the night. Make sure to knock on their door first so they can see their effigy before it becomes charred. Wear a balaclava if you want your identity kept a secret.

* An anonymous, hand delivered letter filled with a collection of their hairs you’ve found as you clean post-breakup. Or as Clare suggested, maybe first send a photo of the hairs, then you can make demands.

* Chalk crime scene body outlines of your bodies holding hands on the street outside their work, with RIP scrawled under it. If you feel it’s still a little too abstract you may include your names too. Be careful this isn’t interpreted as a death threat though. Let’s keep it PG people.

* Glitter bombing. Always and forever, glitter bombing. That shit just does not go away. A glittering reminder of your love to linger on.

I think I’ll stay anonymous for this sign off as it’s obviously a more than slightly demented post, but I do think it has potential.

Peace and love dreamers x

Nikki’s pictures are beautiful. Take me to New York…
x Neda

Nikki’s pictures are beautiful. Take me to New York…

x Neda

(Source: nikkisproperty)

Singapore. 2013.Hey dreamers. I’m in the depths of winter blues.I’ve been dreaming of another holiday abroad… preferably with room service and sunshine… *sigh*x Alyssa

Singapore. 2013.

Hey dreamers.
I’m in the depths of winter blues.
I’ve been dreaming of another holiday abroad… preferably with room service and sunshine… *sigh*

x Alyssa

fresh plough finds

x arielle

Beware of young girls 

x arielle

Since we’re comparing different worlds. Here’s a glimpse at the one I’ve been walking in. I’ve been a bad poster but I promise you I’m still a dreamer.

X N

I just got back from my tiny island-village in Manus, PNG.
(We seem to be world’s apart, Arielle)  
xxx Alyssa

Winter over here.

x Arielle

This might be a little weird but whatever, we’re friends here

So I’ve kept for a while an open text document on my laptop to keep track of bad puns that I come across in my travels. Trouble is I never remember them. So many spellbound campfire occasions gone by.. Alas.. Anyway, I came across em again tonight and thought the world may want to partake in em with me. Oh hey world, yeah you. Wanna see a dirty picture? Nah I don’t have any, here’s a crapload of puns.

x arielle

•I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

•When chemists die, they barium.

•Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

•A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

•I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

•How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

•I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

•This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

•I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

•They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

•This dyslexic man walks into a bra.

•I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

•A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils.

•When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

•I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

•Broken pencils are pointless.

•What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

•Velcro – what a rip off!

Hell yeah pink cockatoos!
x Arielle

Hell yeah pink cockatoos!

x Arielle

Driving through Norway an hour and a half up a perilous mountain, past frozen fjords and grumpy trolls we realise our road ran out and turned into a ski path. It just stopped being a road and started being snow. Skiiers skiied our road right up to our car, mocking us with their ease of snowy movement. We stared. Confused for quite some time. Then reversed and headed all the way back down the mountain. Honestly, fuck google maps.
Arielle x

Driving through Norway an hour and a half up a perilous mountain, past frozen fjords and grumpy trolls we realise our road ran out and turned into a ski path. It just stopped being a road and started being snow. Skiiers skiied our road right up to our car, mocking us with their ease of snowy movement. We stared. Confused for quite some time. Then reversed and headed all the way back down the mountain. Honestly, fuck google maps.

Arielle x

My art has sexual elements to it, like there’s some graphic sexual stuff within the drawings, like vaginas and dicks and condoms, but it’s done more to gross people out or make them laugh than it is to turn people on. If you want to get turned on by naked people you can look at porn–why would I try to compete with that? I would rather draw new ideas of what I think sexiness is…. I’m more interested in the social complexities of things like gender roles, what people find sexy, the taboos around sex organs…

- New York-based artist Aurel Schmidt in an interview with Karley Sciortino

++++++++++++++

xxx Alyssa