So I’ve kept for a while an open text document on my laptop to keep track of bad puns that I come across in my travels. Trouble is I never remember them. So many spellbound campfire occasions gone by.. Alas.. Anyway, I came across em again tonight and thought the world may want to partake in em with me. Oh hey world, yeah you. Wanna see a dirty picture? Nah I don’t have any, here’s a crapload of puns.
•I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
•When chemists die, they barium.
•Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
•A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
•I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
•How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
•I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
•This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.
•I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.
•They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
•This dyslexic man walks into a bra.
•I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
•A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils.
•When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
•I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
•Broken pencils are pointless.
•What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
•Velcro – what a rip off!